Thursday, January 04, 2007
When I grow up
You would think that by this point in my life, I would know what I want to be when I grow up. In truth, nothing is farther from the truth. I started classes (again) this week, this time in preparation for taking the MCAT. At one point, I had to ask myself, "What in God(dess)'s name do I think I am doing? I just finished school, and here I am, setting myself up for another 10 plus years of it?" Of course, shortly after this, I had to work with a doctor who had his panties in such a knot that most of the nursing staff was about ready to jump him in a dark parking lot. Then I realized why I was setting myself up for a decade of hell, so I can tell doctors like him that he is being an a**hole and to start acting like the civilized, educated, profession he is supposed to be. I realize that I could still tell him now (and probably will one night if he pisses me off enough), but people like that really do not listen if they think you are "beneath" them in some way. I guess it all goes back to the idea that if you think you can do domething better than someone else, just do it yourself.
I guess that things at work are going okay. I still have my moments that I feel like I am drowning, but I think that is just part of the job and not really a reflection on what I can or can not do. I still feel like I ask for a lot more help than other people, but I think I am starting to balance it out some by being helpful for other people when they are getting swamped. Hopefully soon, it will actually feel like I am being a useful part of the team. However, none of the supervisors have given parts of my assignments to other nurses. Actually, just the opposite, I have been asked to help out other nurses by taking a part of their assignment (in all honesty, that night, I had pretty easy patients, even with my assignment being "front beds" [meaning, the beds directly in front of the nurse's station, used for the most critical patients]). Guess I should take that as a positive sign.....